Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Wear the Corsage... and other advice for the teenage daughter I will never have.



My mom sent me this thoughtful article of advice from Good Housekeeping blogger, Kyran Pittman. Thought I'd share.

Among the pregnancy journals and tiny hospital wristbands I keep in a trunk, there are scraps of paper with the names of daughters I thought I might have. Sophia Faye. Anna leigh. Evangeline. I don't miss them, these imaginary sisters of my sons. But occasionally, when I see young girls getting manicures or sampling lip balms, I find myself silently dispensing advice:

1. Go to your prom. Wear the corsage. Stand under the arch. Get the photographs. Honestly? Cool is overrated.

2. Even if you have just been shot with a tranquilizer dart for elephants, don't sleep in your makeup. Or contact lenses. 

3. As long as you are in your teens, avoid dating anyone more than three years older than you. At your age, a romantic relationship with an older man is actually neither romantic or a relationship.

4. Every year you can possibly delay having sex will ultimately make sex that much better. Think of it as the difference between spending every allowance on cheap shoes that don't last, or saving up for some really fabulous Jimmy Choos. Not that you have to go without even touching a pair of shoes in the meantime. Or marry your first pair of Jimmy Choos. Don't tell your mom I said that.

5. You look ugly when you gossip.

6. Throwing up drunk is not a good look for you, either.

7. Write this down in case of an emergency: The person you are now is not the way you behaved then.

8. Wear the bikini every chance you get. Related: Use sunscreen.

9. What separates a professional eyebrow arch from the amateurs is scissor-trimming. This item took me 38 years to figure out, and I have to pass it onto somebody.

10. Avoid risks that will narrow your future. Skinny-dipping: yes. Filmed skinny-dipping: no. 

11. Anyone who says these are the best years of your life is a liar.

12. Even when you are both madly, truly in love, raising children is the toughest job you'll ever have. Don't attempt it with someone who doesn't rock your world, no matter how happy it would make your moms or how sparkly the ring.

13. Believe in "The One"

14. If you are wondering if he's "The One", he isn't.

15. Hard work is important. Choose what exhilarates you, not what exhausts you.

16. Live as if there's enough talent, success, luck, and fabulousness to go around.  

17. Someday, that girl who is horrible to you now will request to be your Facebook friend. And though your cursor will linger a long and delicious moment above the "ignore" button, you will click on "accept" instead, and know that you have grown up.

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